A Woman's Worth, by Elaine Stedman
Chapter 6.
Contested Equality
"And God said...have dominion...over every living thing..."
The dominion of man (male and female) gives purpose to the earth with all
of its beauty and fruitfulness. Without humanity to appreciate and appropriate
it, the earth would appear to be without significance. When mankind improperly
controls the environment, the result is chaos and disaster. We were made
to reign over the earth, to enjoy, appreciate, and maintain it, with sound
judgment and commitment, under the sovereign wisdom of the Creator-God.
In a similar way, the dominion of God gives meaning to mankind. Godless
philosophy deprives mankind of both meaning and worth. If our existence
is traceable only to chance, we can destroy, or be destroyed without import.
Why should issue be made of our rights as persons, our fulfillment and relationships,
the structure of our society, if, indeed, we are creatures without design
and destiny?
The revelation of the Scripture and a basic tenet of Christian faith is
that earth was made for mankind and mankind was made for God; that earth
was made to serve us, and we, in turn, to serve God. In it all, God is the
ultimate Resource. In all the universe he is the only no-need Being. We
worship and serve him, not to meet his need but because to do so is appropriate
and therefore fulfilling to our humanity.
In God's Manifesto of Human Liberty, the Ten Commandments, he clearly outlines
the boundaries of our humanity, beginning with our need to worship only
God, and describing appropriate human relational attitudes and actions.
We learn that in giving to God first priority, every other relationship
and commitment becomes an act of worship to him.
Worship is a human need, which is met only in the worship of God. Our equality
with every other person makes it futile and meaningless to worship others
or ourselves. Such misdirected worship is a refutation of our equality with
others and our creature relationship with God.
Self-worship is god-playing. It is the human effort to simulate God's attributes.
We imagine ourselves all-wise, all-powerful and perfect in performance.
In this illusory frame of mind, we become demanding, domineering, manipulative,
critical, aggressive, and possessive. And all of these are symptoms of our
own insecurity, because when we try to be what we are not and what we cannot
be, we hate ourselves; so that in the end we lose our sense of worth and
identity.
This is not differentiated by male or female; it is true of all, characteristic
of our fallenness. It is sheer folly to claim, as some do, that were women
dominant in the family, church and society, the female presence would assure
peace and equity. Woman-to-woman power struggles are as prevalent and malignant
as those experienced among men. We are, indeed, equal sinners!
God-playing has a predictable effect on our relations with others. It produces
defensiveness, abdication of responsibility, withdrawal, insecurity, hostility,
bitterness, resentment, and sometimes even sexual deviations. God-playing
is using others to accommodate to our ideals, tastes, physical and emotional
needs; it is the vain attempt to find our identity in human relationships.
Aggression and dominance result from thinking we have rights over another.
This too is a denial of our equality. Only God has prior claim over every
person, male and female. We affirm our equality by recognizing God's prior
claim in our lives as well as in others. Since we are mutually God's persons,
we may not be possessive of one another. We are not to consume one another
with self- interest, nor to exploit one another for selfish pleasure or
prestige.
Each individual has the God-given freedom to make choices. We share this
mutual responsibility and privilege with every other person. It is imperative
that we respect that duty. This disqualifies manipulating, domineering strategies.
It is God who works in us, both to will and to do of His good pleasure.
(His pleasure, His image, His work, not ours!) And He will continue to perform
that work until the day of Jesus Christ (see Philippians 1: 6).
Equal rights seem easy enough to work out on paper, but the simple fact
is that none of us can maintain that perspective under the pressure of our
own self-centered interests and demands. From that motivation our responses
are confused and immature, with the result that we are both threatened and
threatening. We fear exposure, rejection, and challenge, and we produce
the same fear in others. Our equality is subject to competition, jealousy,
and rivalry, as we vacillate between attitudes of inferiority and superiority.
But God has a plan for the survival of both our identity and our equality!
Ironically, the very plan by which God intends to establish and mature us
into whole and healed persons is the one which is misused and misinterpreted
in such a way as to eventually destroy us. One way to test whether we have
grasped God's loving and healing intent, and the perfection of his plan
for us, is to simply state it as "headship-subjection" or "authority-submission,"
and observe the emotional response!
If the words "submission" and "subjection" threaten
our concept of identity, it is because we misunderstand the true implications
of this God-given design. This negative, often hostile, response is culturally
conditioned. We react to the abuses of God's design and therefore accept
the connotation of injustice and inhumanity which those words have come
to suggest.
Thus threatened, we may usurp the dominant headship role, but there we sense
the intolerable weight of responsibility, the exposure of our inadequacy
and the contradiction to our basic femininity. We are uneasy and insecure
in either role; neither seems suited to our human need, so we may settle
into a medley of resentment or open hostility, pussycat manipulation, and
power-plays, either overt or subtle.
In the male-female relationship, submission makes woman vulnerable, and
thus becomes the means by which man is exposed as a tyrannical sinner or
a redeemed lover. With Christ as the example, man is to serve the woman
in his headship role. As Christ's position was not jeopardized, neither
will be the man's. Thus the headship-submission role becomes the test of
mature manhood.
It is likewise the test of mature womanhood, by revealing the woman as either
a manipulative sinner or a redeemed love-servant. In her submissive serving,
Christ is also the Model. As His submission to the Father's will made his
serving redemptive, so the woman's submission, "as unto the Lord",
will be redemptive in His hands.
Every encounter between persons puts human equality under stress. If we
are seeking to establish our identity in any role, or in any human relationship,
we will always be threatened. And when we are threatened, we react in ways
which threaten others. We must learn who we are in terms of who God is and
what is his creative and redemptive purpose for us. If we fail to learn
that basic truth, we will be insecure in any situation and in every relationship.
Chapter 7.
Ray Stedman Library